I Wasn’t the Churchy Type, but She Drew Me Closer to God

• “The first day I saw her, something in me told me she was the one for me.” — Mr. Akin.

• “Before I met her, I wasn’t the churchy type, but she drew me closer to God.” — Mr. Akin.

The story of Akinade and his wife shows how love can grow from everyday interaction into marriage. Love that began in a workplace setting moved beyond routine interaction into a deeper connection that led to marriage. 

In this conversation, he explains how it started, what drew him in, and how marriage has shaped his habits, communication, and understanding of love.

How did you meet your wife?

Mr. Akin: I met her in school. We got the job almost at the same time, so we crossed paths again at work in 2021. The journey started properly in 2022, and we got married in 2023.

How did she capture your attention?

Mr. Akin: I knew from the first day I saw her. Something in me told me she was the one for me. I love her generosity, her beauty, and the fact that she cares. 

Two years down the line, what are your favorite things about her?

Mr. Akin: She’s playful, lovable, exciting, and fun to be with.

Can you share some of the challenges you faced in your marriage?

Mr. Akin: She is the type who likes things done on time, while I am more reserved and calm about situations. I would often tell her to relax, and it wasn’t always easy at first. Finding a balance was a challenge.

However, we had to learn how to compromise in some situations. The differences were in our lifestyle, behavior, and habits, and we are still adjusting to each other.

Related: He told me straight up he was here to marry me

Can you share specific situations?

Mr. Akin: Initially, there was a particular one. She used to serve rice and stew separately, but I wasn’t brought up that way.  But growing up in my family, we would only serve food with stew on the rice. This would cause a few issues because she would insist on her method.

Also, she is more organized. I’m the kind of person who could drop my shoes anywhere, but she would point out and tell me to put them in the right place.  She wanted me to be the same as well.

How do you handle such situations?

Mr. Akin: Sometimes, we argue it out and later resolve it. As a man, I often have to bend a little just to allow peace to reign.

Related: I do not mourn my wife; I celebrate her legacy

How has marriage changed you as a person?

Mr. Akin: Marriage has changed me a lot. Naturally, I’m not the kind of person who talks much. After I got married, there were situations where I had to express myself more.

Even when I do, she sometimes feels I am raising my voice. However, my communication has improved since I got married.

Do you help your wife with household chores?

Mr. Akin: Absolutely. For example, I help with our child’s daily grooming. I also can’t remember the last time she cleaned the restroom, since I handle that. Nonetheless, there are limits to that, and she understands as well. 

About your finances, how do you share the burden?

Mr. Akin: In our marriage, there is nothing like 50-50. To the glory of God, I would say I bring more to the table. Although we are on the same salary scale because we got the job at the same time, I contribute more financially.

What are your parenting methods in raising children?

Mr. Akin: God has been helping us. I am gentle, but because of my wife’s temperament, she is more inclined to instill discipline in our child. I am softer compared to her.

Related: We were unable to conceive in the first 13 years of our marriage

What’s one thing that your partner does regularly that makes you feel loved? 

Mr. Akin: She is very fantastic at cooking. She makes very delicious food for me. She is also very timely, so I never miss my meals.

Has God played a role in your marriage?

Mr. Akin: God has played a major role in our marriage. Before I got married, I was not very “churchy,” but now I have responsibilities in church as a worker. My wife encouraged me to build myself spiritually. 

God has also helped us financially and guided some of our decisions. In addition, he helped my wife get a higher degree. Now, she has a B.Sc with First Class honors.

Was there anything she did to inspire your love for God? 

Mr. Akin: Yes. At the beginning, we prayed together online on WhatsApp every Wednesday night. She was also my Sunday school teacher, and I would listen to her. That was how she began drawing me closer to God.

Related: I held the family together while my wife studied for three years

What’s your advice to single men and married men on marriage?

Mr. Akin: They should put God first and try to understand their partner. They should not expect that issues won’t come; they will come in different forms. 

I have survived a lot in my marriage. When I look at the rate of divorce in our society, I see that not everyone makes it through those issues. I can talk about my marriage because I am a survivor. 

Most importantly, they should keep God at the center. I am not perfect, and my wife is not perfect, but we are trying our best. Married men should take things easy, understand their partners, and things will work out.

If you’re a couple and would love to share your story, fill out this form.