Author:
Funmito Obafemi
On this week’s edition of LoveLens stories, meet Oluwaseunayofunmi and Oluwaseunayo, who have been married for 19 months, and turned a virtual Bible study into a God-centered love story. They reveal the daily habits that keep their bond strong and the advice they have for those looking for a meaningful relationship.
Mr Oluwaseun: Actually, we met on WhatsApp. At that time in my life, I just needed a change because so many things were happening. I needed a Christian community where I could pray and share the Word with other people. So, I found one on TikTok, which later moved to WhatsApp.
One day in the group, we were discussing the book of Romans. I shared my thoughts, and then I noticed that someone named Seun responded. At first, I assumed the person was a man, as I was used to men being named Seun.
After the session, I sent a simple “hi” to the person behind the name, just to find out who I had interacted with. That message sparked a conversation that eventually became our story.
Mrs Oluwaseun: I needed a kind of family I could pray with and grow with spiritually. That was how I came across a TikTok post about a Christian group that met on WhatsApp. I joined, and it became a space where we shared scripture, discussed the Word, and encouraged one another.
On a particular day when we were having a Bible study, I shared my thoughts, he shared his, and we were both involved in the conversation. After the session, he came into my DM, and that was how our own personal conversation started.
Mrs Oluwaseun: For me, we were just talking, sharing the Word, exchanging scriptures, and things like that. Nothing serious at first. Plus, he genuinely thought I was a man.
Then, he discovered he was wrong, as I’m a woman. We exchanged pictures, and our conversations got deeper. From there, I realized his values aligned with mine; everything about the way we talked was cool.
Mr Oluwaseun: Honestly, I went into her DM thinking I was chatting with a guy. I saw a lady’s picture in her DP, but I assumed it was his girlfriend. Then, as we talked, I realized she’s a woman.
What made it even funnier was that our names have the same initials, and I was wondering why. I’m Oluwaseunayofunmi Emmanuel Olawale, while she’s Oluwaseunayo Esther Olawale (nee Ojo).
We kept talking, sharing scriptures, encouraging each other, and just being present for one another. She was in the United Kingdom, and I was in Nigeria. Those conversations became a place of strength for me. As I shared the Word with her, I was growing too. It was mutual and more of God’s orchestration.
Mr Oluwaseun: For me, the confirmation came in a very unusual way. I actually knew she was the one while we were sharing the Word of God. There was this particular day when I was in Camp at Abeokuta, and the Holy Spirit told me that the person I’d been chatting with was my wife.
I said the Holy Spirit it was a no for me, and that was because before that time, I had told her plainly that I wasn’t interested in anything romantic. I told her I wasn’t trying to win her over; I just wanted us to be friends, nothing more.
But before all of that happened, God had already taken me through a personal season. He told me he wanted to deliver me from small-mindedness, and he dealt with me in certain areas.
Looking back now, that was part of the preparation for what He was bringing into my life. One of the most significant advantages in this whole journey that I always emphasize is having God and knowing how to hear Him for yourself. It played a very pivotal role in everything we did up to this moment.
So after God told me she was my wife, I still asked for more clarity because I didn’t want to assume. I had prayed a particular prayer years ago, “Lord, if You’re giving me a wife, let her be a nurse, let her bear my name, let her be from Osun state, and let her have certain qualities.”
And when I was struggling with accepting what God was saying, He reminded me of that prayer and told me the answer is her. I still asked God for further conviction I could hold on to.
God told me that the day I tell her I want to marry her, she will go off the call, won’t talk to me for some days, and that her parents would also accept me. That was when I knew, without any doubt, that she was God’s choice for me, 100% and one.
Mrs Oluwaseun: As a lady, when someone consistently gives you attention, time, and genuine presence, it’s almost natural to start getting emotionally attached. We were praying together, studying the Bible together, talking every day, and in between all of that, feelings started creeping in.
Low-key, I was catching feelings, but I wasn’t ready to admit it even if he popped the question at that point. I’m that hard girl, and even when something touches my heart, I won’t show it or say it.
I remember the way he asked the question. He said, “I ticked all the boxes and was just an answered prayer.” At that point, I knew he was the one, even though I was single and wasn’t intentionally looking for a relationship.
I was focused on building my career, my goals, and just getting myself together. And when he finally asked me the question and the way he asked it, everything added up. Though I didn’t say yes immediately, I took it to God and prayed about it.
I knew God wanted me to go into it because I had convictions that He’s the one, and our values aligned. Plus, I was emotionally drawn to him and found him physically attractive. Beyond all the butterflies and feelings, I had peace and knew I could go ahead.
Mr Oluwaseun: I made the first move. I don’t really talk to people, but when God clearly told me what was about to happen, I went ahead with it.
When I finally told her how I felt, everything God had told me would happen happened. She was someone who talked to me every day, so that sudden silence was indeed surprising, but I held on to what God told me.
On the day she was to resume talking to me, the Holy Spirit told me she would call that night, and while I was on my way back from work, she did.
After we talked for a few more days and she had prayed about everything, she finally gave me her answer. That was when we officially began our journey. And right in the middle of all of that, I still had to leave for NYSC in Cross River.
Mrs Oluwaseun: We started dating in April 2023 and got married in May 2024.
Mrs Oluwaseun: It was a long-distance relationship because I was in the UK, and he was in Nigeria. But honestly, what helped us cope was knowing, right from the start, that God was in it. The same God who orchestrated our meeting was the same one carrying us through the journey, so I’d say our strength came from Him first.
Based on God’s strength, we called every day, and not just voice calls, but video calls too. We talked about everything, catching up like people who were physically together. The only thing missing was the physical presence, but emotionally, he was very present. I never felt alone. That worked for us.
Mr Oluwaseun: Since I couldn’t reach her over there, our best option was through communication. Whenever she was on a break, I reached out to her. For instance, when she’s going to work in the morning, I walk her down on the phone. The same thing happened at night until she travelled down to Nigeria, and we got married.
Mr and Mrs Oluwaseun: Yes. We didn’t see each other during our courtship.
Mrs Oluwaseun: There weren’t many surprises for me, because video calls had already done most of the work. I knew his face, his expressions, his mannerisms, so finally meeting him physically wasn’t shocking. The only real adjustment was moving from being alone to now sharing space with someone.
Before marriage, I cooked for myself and planned my life around myself, but when he came into the picture, that changed. And, funny enough, even to this day, he does most of the cooking.
What actually shocked me was how well he cooks. He always told me he loved cooking and even used to send me pictures of what he made, but in my mind, I felt he couldn’t be as good as he claimed. Then I finally tasted his food, and I was wowed.
Another funny difference was adjusting to how much men eat. Not like he eats excessively, but compared to just cooking for myself, I started to understand what feeding a man looks like. Apart from that, there are no significant differences.
Mr Oluwaseun: For me, I don’t think there were major differences either. What I thought would shock her was the fact that I genuinely enjoy cooking. I cook a lot and cook well, but I was concerned that she might misunderstand it. I didn’t want her to think I was behaving like a woman in the house.
But the truth is, I had always prepared my mind for the kind of life a nurse lives. I had nurses around me back then, so I understood the demands. And with her working as a nurse outside Nigeria, I knew it could be even more demanding.
From the beginning, I assured her she’d find peace at home. I enjoy exploring different kinds of food. She, on the other hand, was used to eating her comfortable, familiar meals.
Because of how much I was cooking, the only thing I struggled with internally was making sure she didn’t see it as me trying to take her place. I still wanted to remain a leader, be present, and be responsible, and by God’s grace, it’s possible.
Mrs Oluwaseun: It’s not that I had any strong preferences or allergies; I just had a particular way I cooked my food. For instance, I never really liked cooking with ginger, garlic, or mushrooms before marriage.
But my husband would go to the store and buy different spices, adding his own unique touch to the meal he cooked. Before marriage, I would just cook to fill my stomach and sleep, but now he’s very intentional.
He wants us to explore different types of cooking and try out new things. For instance, he could wake up one morning and decide to make banana bread or puff puff. So it’s more about experimenting with ingredients, flavors, and the overall experience.
Mr Oluwaseun: We have many daily habits that help us stay connected. Most days, when I’m leaving for work, she’s still asleep. Before I go, I always make sure she feels loved. I hug her, rub her head, and just give the early morning reassurances.
Once I get to work, I send her a message to let her know I’ve arrived safely. On days when I’m not going to work, we pray together. We set aside time to observe our prayers and align spiritually.
One thing I’ve had to understand deeply is that not everyone functions the way I do. I can sleep late (3 am), wake early (6 am), and go about my day, but she needs her sleep. It’s about respecting each other’s differences by giving her the space to rest. Honoring that has helped our relationship.
Communication is also a big daily habit. I keep her updated, and I stay open with her about everything. Also, I still play a lot around her. I tease her, pull her hair, call her sweet names, and just joke around with her. That playfulness keeps the relationship always on point.
Mrs Oluwaseun: For me, one of the daily habits I intentionally try to keep is welcoming him when he gets back from work. Even if I’m busy or not entirely comfortable at that moment, I do my best to stand up and welcome him at the door when he returns home.
It’s a small gesture, but it matters to me. When he’s out working, and I’m at home, I also try to cook something before he returns, just as my own way of contributing and making the house feel warm for him.
Those are just some of the little things we do. Beyond that, sometimes we go out, and on days when we can’t cook, we do takeouts. We love taking evening walks, especially in the summer, when we unwind and talk.
And then Seun enjoys football. He really enjoys watching the games, and I’m gradually learning to enjoy them with him because he loves them.
Mr Oluwaseun: Marriage has changed me in many ways, and one of them is that it has given me a greater sense of responsibility. Before I got married, I could leave home anytime, and nobody needed to know where I was.
But now, I’m accountable to someone. I am responsible for communication, openness, and, most importantly, leadership. Beyond her, it has made me intentional about pouring into someone who isn’t me. I always tell her that the reason why I don’t allow her to do so many things (e.g., cooking) isn’t that I intend to spoil her.
Instead, she’s a reflection of who I am, how I treat her, and what I believe. I do my best to make sure she’s fine because if something is wrong with her, it ultimately points back at me.
There are many things I don’t let her do, not because she can’t do them, but because I don’t want her doing them, and for instance, cleaning the house or taking out the trash.
This isn’t because she’s incapable, but because she has other important things to focus on, and I prefer to take the bulk of those responsibilities.
And I’ve realized that stepping into that role has helped both of us grow. So yes, marriage has taught me responsibility, leadership, intentionality, and the joy of caring for someone you love.
Mrs Oluwaseun: For me, one of the biggest things marriage has taught me is not to be selfish with my time. I genuinely love my personal space and being by myself, but marriage has made me aware that someone else needs me too.
Though I still value my alone time, I’ve learned to share that time with my husband and be more present for him. Another major thing I’m learning is openness. Before marriage, I kept things to myself and figured things out in my head.
But now I’ve realized that doing so affects my husband. If I go silent or retreat into my thoughts, he feels shut out or abandoned. And honestly, I wouldn’t want him to treat me that way either. So marriage is teaching me to communicate more, to speak up even when it’s not easy, and to let him into what’s going on in my mind.
Also read: He told me straight up that he was here to marry me.
Mrs Oluwaseun: For us, supporting each other’s goals starts with the fact that we talk about everything. He’s my best friend, and I’m his. So nothing is hidden. We don’t just talk, we help each other through it.
We support each other with whatever resources we have — time, knowledge, encouragement, and even help staying organized when needed. We discuss what we want to achieve individually and how we can show up for each other to make it happen.
One thing that really stands out is how intentional we both are about pushing ourselves and each other toward bigger goals. There have been so many moments when I doubted myself or wondered if I should pursue something.
Almost every single time, he encourages me to go for it. For instance, there was a professional exam I recently took, and he encouraged me in it. I did it, and he passed.
He believes in me so profoundly that it becomes easier for me to believe in myself, and I’m the same way with him because we genuinely want to see both of us win.
Mr Oluwaseun: For me, supporting her goals starts with understanding exactly what the goal is and what role I can play. Once I know that, I’m very quick to give whatever contribution is needed.
From the beginning, I always told her she has the room to fly as high as she wants. That’s the principle I still live by, so whenever she says she wants to pursue something, we’re in it together.
There were times before marriage when she was working on school projects, and even though I wasn’t physically there, I was present because what matters to her matters to me.
Anything that contributes to her growth, fulfillment, or sense of purpose is something I’m ready to support. We also break our goals down — personal goals, family goals, long-term plans, and short-term needs — and we decide together how to approach them.
Mrs Oluwaseun: From the very beginning, we both knew that God was the one who brought us together, and honestly, that has been the anchor of our marriage. Marriage isn’t a bed of roses every single day, but every time I get to that roadblock, I go back to the word God gave me before I said yes.
That word has continued to guide my actions, my decisions, and my heart. I have never gone back to God with a question and not found clarity or peace. His word has never failed us.
We have a guiding word, we have promises, and we hold onto them for every season and every phase of our marriage. Whenever we’re unsure of the next step or have roadblocks, we return to those promises. And every single time, God shows up again and again.
Mr Oluwaseun: For me, faith is the foundation, the guiding principle, and the anchor of everything we do. Whenever people ask me how marriage is going, I always say that God has been helping us.
And I genuinely mean that. I believe strongly in God’s help. I believe in knowing how to hear God for yourself, because there are moments in marriage where nothing else can carry you except a personal conviction from God.
As my wife said, we had specific words before we got married, and in this journey, we have literally watched those words unfold. And every time we enter a new phase, God gives us his words, and they always come to pass. That’s how I’ve been able to lead: faith has shaped who I am.
I wake up every day asking God to help me lead her, because I know I can’t do it on my own. Whatever I’m doing right today, it’s not because I mastered it; it’s because the Word of God and the Holy Spirit are guiding me.
For instance, when she went to school, and I was at home, the Holy Spirit nudged me to buy her flowers that day. I immediately went to the store, bought the flowers, and when she came home, I gave them to her. She was surprised and loved it. Moments like that remind me that even in the most minor things, faith leads us.
Mrs Oluwaseun (cutting in): Yeah…..it was really good. Personally, I’m not a flower girl. But God knows I needed those flowers that day. It fulfilled its need, and that’s significant.
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Mrs Oluwaseun: God is my strength because when he moved to the UK, everything I did to help him settle wasn’t coming from a place of any of us alone. It came from the understanding that we are a team and that we are building a family.
We already had that conversation about who would move, what the transition would look like, and how we would support each other.
So when the time came, it wasn’t confusing or a struggle. It was an agreement. Knowing that the marriage is a home we are constructing together, and what God wants to achieve through us. All of that made it easy for me to support him however he needed when he arrived.
Also read: 26 Years of Inter-Faith Marriage
Mr Oluwaseun: The foundation of everything is hearing God, which makes all the difference. Before I ever moved to the UK, God had already taken me through a kind of preparation school. He led me to serve in Cross River, a decision that didn’t make sense on the surface.
I didn’t realise it then, but he was training my mind for another transition. I finished service in April, and by July, I was in the UK. Even though the environment was completely new, the UK came with its own realities. I had to learn, unlearn, relearn. I had to adjust.
And honestly, God helped me. Also, my wife was a significant part of my stability. There were days I was home alone, and she would just call to check on me. Those little things became a soft landing for me, emotionally and mentally.
Another thing that helped was finding community. We knew we needed a church, and God led us to one. And that community changed everything. So for me, adjusting to the UK was a blend of God’s guidance, personal growth, my wife’s support, and finding the right community. Those four pillars carried me.
Mrs Oluwaseun: My advice is simple. You need to filter everything you hear about marriage. You have to remember that people speak from their own experiences, and their stories are not your destiny. For instance, if someone says, “Marriage is horrible, or men are scammers,” and you choose to believe that, it’s at your own peril. That’s someone’s experience that they’re trying to sell to you.
For every contrary opinion, there is someone else saying, “Marriage is beautiful, and I’m enjoying my marriage.” Whatever anyone says, choose whatever you want to believe and check it in line with the word of God and what God has told you personally.
Don’t inherit someone else’s problem because you respect them or they’re trying to sell their experience to you. Don’t buy into someone else’s experience. Instead, curate yours. Listen to what God has to say about your journey.
Your marriage will be your own unique journey. Stay focused, stay guided by God’s word, and don’t let other people’s experiences shape your expectations.
Mr Oluwaseun: My biggest advice is to love God, obey God, and learn to hear God for yourself. Then, when choosing a partner, look out for a kind person — an expressive form of kindness. Just because someone is kind doesn’t mean they would express it to you. So, choose someone whose kindness is shown to you and others. Not someone kind to others but mean to you.
Look out for authentic leadership, not controlling behaviour, in a man who can hear God and lead with wisdom. If you have God’s guidance and a partner who genuinely shows kindness, you’re already on the right path.
Mr Oluwaseun: I think there’s one thing I didn’t emphasize enough earlier. When people talk about purpose and marriage, the conversation is often stretched in many directions. But here’s what I’ve learned.
First, your differences are often what God uses to bring you together, and your similarities are what He uses to move you forward. You can’t be a pastor who vomits fire for God and marry a woman who does the same; both of you would burn down the house.
There’s a need for a balance. While you may be quite different, you would have similarities which God would use to push you forward till you come into the fulfillment of what God has in store for you.
Next, you don’t need someone who looks exactly like you in character or expression. Rather, someone who compliments you. Where one doesn’t have strength, the other will do. So, that creates another balance.
Finally, don’t be so obsessed with yourself. Many people are overly focused on what they want and forget that God doesn’t always give them what they want. He gives you your needs, and through your needs, your wants are eventually satisfied.
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