Ben and Blessing: From Different Relationships to One Marriage

Author: Funmito Obafemi

Published: June 12, 2026

Ben and Blessing: From Different Relationships to One Marriage

“God told me she was supposed to be my garden. If anything wasn’t perfect, I was supposed to tend it as a gardener,” said Ben.

“The Holy Spirit said in my heart, What if I say that would be your husband?” said Blessing.

In this LoveLens Insight episode, we interviewed Ben and Blessing, who have been married for five years. Before finding their way to each other, both were both in separate relationships.

In fact, one of them had even introduced their ex-fiancée to their family. Yet life had other plans, and somehow love reunited them.

Here, they share the full story of their journey: from an unexpected reunion to building a marriage that has weathered challenges, embraced differences, and grown stronger over the years.

How did you meet each other?

Ben: It was during my Master’s program. At that time, I stayed in an apartment that lacked electricity due to a problem with the power company.

Prior to this, I’d known her because she often came around to say hello to my landlord, who was her neighbor. They showed me where I could charge my phone. We would always see each other at the apartment and became friends through that.

What caught your attention about her? How did you know she was the right person to marry?

Ben: My wife is hardworking. What touched me personally was how she was ready to help. There was a day I was going to cook okra soup and was grating the okra.

It touched me that she came and showed me how to do it right. Even though I was used to the way I do things, I really appreciated her help during that period.

Another thing I noticed was her commitment to church. As a student, she attended a church far from her home, which intrigued me. She was also a pretty woman. What really convinced me was God telling me about her.

I was technically not out of a relationship at that time. We gave each other a break, but I thought it could still work. I asked God what was going on because I didn’t hear about the relationship from him.

Later, my wife felt convinced she would be the one, but I told her I hadn’t heard from God about it. I was even planning to push her away.

While we were in a retreat one day, God told me she was supposed to be my garden. If anything wasn’t perfect, I was supposed to tend it as a gardener. As I heard that word, I felt peace in my heart.

Blessing: The first day I met him was at the man’s place, which he mentioned earlier. The man was an elderly person whom we looked up to in the community and would always advise us as students.

One day, I went to deliver snacks for my friend’s son’s birthday. On my way back, I went to my sister’s place to give them some snacks as well. My sister mentioned that someone (my husband) gave them kerosene for cooking and asked me to appreciate him. That was how we met.

After thanking him, I left the place because I still had a class to attend. Upon walking down the road, the Holy Spirit said in my heart, “What if I say that would be your husband?”

I paused and told the Holy Spirit that he was joking, because I had been in a relationship for 7 years at the time. So, how would someone I didn’t know become my husband? How would it work? I left the conversation there.

As a single person, the Holy Spirit would always tell me things ahead of time so that they wouldn’t surprise me later. He had told me I would meet my husband in my final year in school. I would always ignore the instruction because I was in a relationship.

When I met my husband in that man’s house, we eventually became very close. I was a caterer who supplied vendors with snacks across different streets, and he would help me with the business.

After I completed my studies, I left for Lagos, where I did a marriage introduction and hoped to marry the other man I had been in a relationship with.

However, moving to Lagos became an eye-opener for me. I became concerned about my ex-fiancée’s new source of wealth.

After all, I had always known he worked as a supervisor in an office, but he was getting other material things beyond what I knew of him. Ultimately, I didn’t have peace in the relationship, so it ended.

I would ask God for clarity after the breakup. As I was going through my Bible one day, I came across a verse that confirmed my husband was the one and that sealed it for me. I had peace. After a while, we spoke on the phone, and he told me he was open.

So, I told him what the Holy Spirit said about him becoming my husband. At first, he mentioned he hadn’t gotten a conviction. He wanted someone who would be praying fervently and studying the Word, but I wasn’t such a person.

How long did you date before getting married?

Ben: We dated for six months. I met my wife in 2017 and became friends during that period. By December 2019, I became convinced she was the one I would marry. Although we planned to marry in June 2020, COVID-19 set in and pushed the date to August 2021.

What are your favorite things about each other?

Ben: She allows me to be myself. In my previous relationship, she always wanted me to be someone else. I like to do what I want. My wife gives me the opportunity to be myself.

Also, I like her because of how she cares for the children. She pays attention to their health, feeding, and all. She is hardworking and loves God. She cooks very well. There are a lot of things I love about her.

Blessing: I love how he fears the Lord. He is very blunt. If he doesn’t support you, he will let you know. He is always sincere in his dealings.

Also, he loves to see me grow spiritually. He asked me if I’ve prayed, studied the Word, and taught it during devotionals. So far, he’s been tending the garden for God.

He’s loving and caring. Before he goes to his work, he would bathe our son and dress him up for school every time. When he returns, he bathes him and gets him ready for bed.

When I’m tired, he lets me rest and handle the chore at that moment. I don’t take that for granted.

How have you imparted each other’s character since you got married?

Ben: I heard a man of God once say, “God will give you a spouse who will develop areas where you’re not perfect.” My wife has taught me patience because there are times I will find my wife very annoying.

Thank God for love that doesn’t keep offense. We can have disagreements, but we will apologize to each other.

My wife has also taught me to be more careful. As a man, I can be a bit careless. I don’t hold things like keys in my hand and often misplace them. For example, there was a time I left my phone on the roof of his car, drove away, and lost it.

There was also a time I lost the car key, too. Today, we have a key rack in our house where we drop our keys. So, she has helped me keep my belongings safe.

Blessing: He helps me to arrange my wardrobe — folding my clothes well. Also, he always lays our bed before sleep. I don’t mind lying down on a sheet that’s a bit rumpled, but my husband would want the sharp edges and corners to show.

What were the sources of disagreements in your marriage? How did you resolve them?

Ben: We have had arguments over money. There are areas where I should have shown accountability in my spending.

But a major point of disagreement, which shocked me, arose when our friend’s child stayed with us. My wife has a different idea of how to discipline or correct her when she does something.

For example, in the first few weeks after she arrived, she would break the ceramic plates and cups in the house. We would replace them, and she would break them again.

This led to her being disciplined. I always feel the mode of correction was too much, which caused a disagreement between my wife and me.

When it comes to conflict resolution, we don’t have a defined rule in our marriage. Being Christians means you must have a relationship with God and avoid harboring malice. I apologize where I’ve done wrong. Also, we have routines — morning devotions, going to church.

Blessing: He is right about our disagreement over the child. I prefer that my husband correct me after I discipline her. Instead, my husband would confront me about my method in front of the child, which would rile me up.

That would lead to arguments, but we would settle them later. The moment it comes up, we apologize to each other, and that has helped us.

Who handles responsibilities in the home?

Ben: My wife loves to cook. She does the cooking. I go to the market to get groceries and cook if she’s not available. In terms of finances, I earn a salary while she runs a business.

Cash flows more in her hand. There are times when I wouldn’t have enough, and she would step in for the day-to-day running of the family. No one plays a specific role.

Blessing: He handles the bigger projects, such as buying land, paying school fees, or buying machinery for the business. But I handle the little expenses.

What piece of advice would you have for married people?

Ben: Love covers a multitude of sin. During the courtship, your spouse would appear faultless due to love. As time passes by, it tends to wear off.

At this stage, rekindle the love. It may not be perfect, but you can always fight for it. Don’t give up too soon. Try to believe something good will come out of it.

Also, forgive your partner. The Bible says, “Love doesn’t keep record of wrong-doings.” If you love your spouse, you would forgive them easily. Don’t count their sins or hold grudges against them. Love upholds it all.

Blessing: For married women, be patient. Also, make your marriage work because the devil doesn’t like good homes. Always go to God on your knees to fight for you. Don’t have a physical fight with your husband. Tell God about it because he has been doing it for me.

For example, when I was pregnant with my second child and felt that everything wasn’t right, my husband wasn’t seeing things from my perspective. I told him we had to see a doctor, but he insisted we wait.

I had to go to God on my knees to make him understand. The next time I raised the issue with him, he was the one who suggested we see the doctor. So, you don’t have to always fight him physically. Go to God on your knees.

What piece of advice do you have for singles?

Ben: Singles should see marriage as a good thing. Don’t take it casually. Be serious, as it’s delightful. Look for someone who is your friend.

Also, check how he treats others around him because that’s how he will treat you over time. Finally, look for someone who is loyal and genuinely interested in you.

Blessing: Singles should love God first because God will give them the right person for them. Listen to the Holy Spirit to direct your journey. Serve God with all your heart, not partially. He, too, will serve you well. That’s how it works.

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