Author:
Funmito Obafemi
On this week’s edition of LoveLens stories, Favour and Akin, who have been married for over a year, discuss how they met, the small daily habits that strengthen their bond, and the tips they have for unmarried people.
Akin: I went to the bank with my dad to resolve a bank issue. The crowd was a lot, and she was attending to a long line of customers. I remember walking up to her to ask how to proceed with a transaction, and even while attending to someone else, she explained what to do and how to fill out the forms.
Later, as I was helping my dad fill in his details, she walked past, and that was when I noticed her enough. When I returned to her desk, she told me the network was down and suggested I come back later. I didn’t want to make a wasted trip, so I asked for a number so I could call before returning.
She gave it to me, but I forgot about it. It wasn’t until my dad reminded me about the unfinished transaction. When I finally called, she told me the network was fine and I could come over. I was honoured to sit right in front for the first time at the bank. She attended to the matter at hand, and we had a proper conversation.
Favour: Honestly, the first day I met him, I don’t remember much of it. That particular day at the bank was chaotic. The network was down, and there were a lot of customers. I attended to so many people that I ended up giving my number out to several customers, including him, so I could update them once things were fixed.
So when he called later, asking if the network was better, I had no idea who he was. It wasn’t until he came back that I pieced it together. When I attended to him that second time, I checked my call log and realized he was one of the people who had reached out earlier. I asked for his name so I could save his number, and that is what I consider the official day we met.
Akin: When I first met Favour, all I wanted was friendship. Nothing serious, but as we became friends, something about her stood out.
Two weeks later, we decided to go on our first date. It was a chance to hang out and talk. But that day changed a lot for me. Our conversation flowed so naturally, and she spoke with much thoughtfulness that it pulled me in. I remember sitting there, listening, and thinking she really is someone I can build something with.
After that day, I began to notice how she ticked every box that mattered — emotionally, mentally, physically, and even spiritually. She wasn’t just beautiful, she was full of sense. It was on that first date that I realized this wasn’t just friendship anymore. I’d found someone I could understand deeply, and in that moment, I knew she was the one I wanted to spend forever with.
Favour: When I met Akin, he quickly became someone who was deeply involved in my life. We talked every day, saw each other almost every day, and it just felt right.
He wasn’t just someone passing by. He genuinely wanted to be part of my life. I found myself always looking forward to our conversations, our moments together. I realized that I didn’t want a day to pass without talking to him or seeing him. He made me happy, effortlessly.
With Akin, there was no unnecessary drama, no holding grudges. Even with my stubbornness, he was patient and intentional. He just wanted us to communicate and grow together. I became certain it wasn’t just another relationship.
Favour and Akin: Six to seven months. We’ve been married for a year plus now
Akin: What I value most about Favour is the way she reasons and communicates. I describe her as sensible, someone whose words have a way of softening even the hardest stance. She’s one of the most reasonable people I’ve ever met, and that’s what keeps us grounded in our relationship.
Favour: My favourite part of him is the joy of waking up next to him. Whenever he travels, I miss him and don’t like sleeping alone. Sharing mornings and nights with him brings a kind of warmth and calm I don’t take for granted.
Akin: She’s incredibly supportive, and I’ve come to realize how much that means in marriage. There are moments when I feel low or start doubting myself, and she’s always there to lift me back up. She has this way of reminding me of who I am and helping me find my balance again. Her support is comforting, and that’s how I know she truly loves me.
Favour: He is my go-to person when I have needs. He’s always there and I can always count on him for everything. Whenever I need help, have something to get done, or just need someone to show up, he’s always present.
Even before we got married, he was that person who would step in without me having to ask twice. I’ve never really had anyone show up for me the way he does, and that alone makes me feel loved.
Favour: Anytime there’s a little misunderstanding, we make sure we talk about it before going to bed. That’s the agreement we made, and it has really been working for us. No matter how long the day has been or how tired we are, we don’t let anything spill over into the next day.
We sit, talk, and trash it out. It’s something we’ve both gotten used to, and it has helped us stay connected. There’s a certain peace that comes with knowing nothing is left hanging, and for us, that’s non-negotiable.
Favour: When we started dating, we had real conversations about where we were in life and what we wanted to achieve in the future. For me, it was such a relief to find someone whose dreams aligned with mine. It made everything feel easier and more purposeful.
We’d already mapped out what we both wanted and how we could help each other get there. So far, we’ve just been following through with what we planned, and honestly, it’s been smooth. Our goals complement each other in that supporting one another doesn’t feel like effort.
Favour: Maybe… maybe not. What I know is that I’ve become more stubborn. Marriage unlocked a new level of it. I’ve not always been the calm one, but you know you have to be reserved in some cases during the dating period.
Now, I’m freer, more playful, since there’s no secret anymore; it has been pro-max stubbornness. As for him, he’s still the calm one, so he doesn’t really have a choice. He just keeps dealing with my stubbornness.
Akin: That stubbornness she talked about is real. Of course, she is still the sweetest person, no doubt, but marriage definitely brought out a new version of her. I’ve just learned to see it as part of life, and by the way, every marriage needs a little drama to keep things interesting.
If anything, her stubbornness has taught me patience on another level. There are moments when I want to react, but I’ll just man up. Let’s just say she has made me more patient, and I term it growth.
Akin: Faith-wise, that’s another thing that makes us click perfectly. We’re both from the same Christian fold, which makes things a lot easier. You know how some couples struggle with religious differences — that’s not our story. We’ve always believed in the same things right from the start, and that has really shaped how we live, pray, and make decisions together.
Favour: Culturally, I’d say things have been really easy for us because we’re both Yoruba and even from the same state, Ekiti. So there hasn’t been any major adjustment. The only funny part is that I don’t speak Yoruba that well, and his family, especially his mum, keeps teasing me about it.
Aside from that, culture hasn’t changed much in our marriage. We’ve just kept doing what feels best to us. Maybe it’s because our backgrounds already align, so everything just flows.
Akin: She does most of the chores, but not alone. Even if she gets into the kitchen first, I usually join her. For example, while she’s cooking, I’ll be beside her doing the dishes or cleaning up. It’s just a way of making things easier and faster for her.
For finances, we both handle things together. There are times I might not be fully buoyant, and she steps in to assist. We help each other. And later, when things balance out, we sort it out. It’s really a partnership.
Favour: I do the cooking and cleaning, and he assists. Evenings when I’m tired, he’s always there with me in the kitchen. As I’m cooking, he might be cleaning or just helping out in small ways. He doesn’t sit around waiting for me to perform magic.
Even if he’s not doing anything particular, he’s just there for emotional support — keeping my company, making me laugh, and his presence alone means a lot.
Favour: In my personal experience, I’d say someone who truly likes you will not stress you, and that’s just the truth. Another thing is, we always see the signs. Sometimes people notice them but decide to ignore them, hoping the person will change. The truth is, we all know what we are doing.
If someone really wants to be part of your life, you’ll know. The person will show interest in your everyday activities, no matter how busy they are. So just go with someone you are at ease with.
As for marriage, I’m still learning, but one thing I’ll say is you don’t have to force anything. Just go with the flow and enjoy the process.
Akin: My biggest piece of advice for marriage is that one must learn patience and tolerance. That’s everything. If two people are coming from different backgrounds, there will definitely be differences. It’s how you manage and tolerate those differences that keep the home peaceful.
Another thing is compromise. You’ll need to bend some of your rules, except you don’t want to prioritize your woman. Marriage will humble you. As an indoor person, I don’t like going out at all. But ever since I met my wife, if she calls and says I need to pick her up, even if I don’t feel like it, I have to go. We shop together as well. I’ve learned to adjust for the person I love.
Favour: For us, it’s in the little things. We tell each other “I love you” almost every minute we get. I don’t think a day has ever gone by without us saying it. It’s just our way of reminding ourselves how we feel about each other, and that’s every day and every chance we get.
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